What defines who you are as a person? Is it how everyone else sees you, or how you see yourself? Is it the face you show the world, or the face hidden underneath the mask?

Yeah, sorry about the contemplative intro there. Just a question I've been asking myself since I got home from Nichola's party. So what brought on such questions? I believe there are about 9 people who would have some idea why.

I have spoken before about how I am shy and experience anxiety issues. These cause me to have two "personas" of myself, if you would put it that way. There's the face I show everyone, the face all of you would know. Good ol' reliable Alex, she's always at school, smart, has blonde moments but very obviously has insecurities that keep her from having any real fun. Correct me if I'm wrong? And then there's the face that only I know. The Alex unrestricted by shyness or insecurites because no one is around to see her. She's the Alex who has no shame. And until Friday night, no one had ever known she existed but me.

I don't know if it was actually caffeine or not, but I got hyper somehow. And not the usual kind of hyper. The shame, the insecurities vanished causing unrestricted Alex to appear.

But let's just say, I don't think unrestricted Alex isn't completely gone. I think she'll be back. And I'm hoping boring-predictable Alex and unrestricted Alex can help create a middway point Alex who's neither boring or OTT.

Your blogger,
Miss Alexiness.